Strange Astronomy

I don't usually work in public. The noise, curious onlookers and general disruption is simply not conducive. But the sun was shining and an empty stomach can be just as much a distraction or more. So I packed up my papers with a few books and went down to university cafe.

I was halfway through my cup of coffee and scribbling in my notebook when I noticed him. A young man had seated himself across from me at my otherwise secluded table. I'm sure I scowled as I pushed my barely nibbled sandwich to the side, making a bit of room. Despite this, he smiled warmly.

"Doctor Iverson?" he said, extending a hand which I grudgingly took. "I'm an admirer of your work. I couldn't help but come over and say hello."

I was surprised, certainly. He was young, but not quite young enough to be one of my students. He was certainly not old enough to be the kind to consort with the sort of stodgy, aged academia that would be interested in the few papers I had published. His blue-grey suit and fedora combination certainly didn't lend itself to that conclusion. Despite it being eleven o'clock in the morning, he looked ready for a night on the town. With a raised eyebrow, I shook his hand.

"Astronomy doesn't get many admirers," I replied. "Certainly not my brand of theoretical astronomy. I'm not even sure my colleagues appreciate my efforts." I chuckled, though half serious in my sentiments.

He smiled again, and it struck me oddly, as if his mouth were abnormally wide. As I looked him over more, he seemed sickly pale. His large eyes, which at first I had taken for sparkling with interest, now seemed glassy. The hand he had proffered suddenly felt clammy and I withdrew my own, surreptitiously wiping my palm on my pants under the table. If he noticed and was offended, he made no sign.

"Someday they will understand, Doctor," he said, his voice sounding serious in contrast with his outward demeanor. "There are more things in heaven and earth..." he paused mid-sentence, making a gulping sound before continuing, "than you could ever dream of. Your work has the potential to touch the gods themselves."

At this statement I did laugh. "Well, I don't know about that. All I am doing is trying to find stars we can't see yet, the ones beyond our telescopes. Charting gravity wells and the like. If God exists, sir, I doubt he cares much about my work, mister..." I trailed off, realizing he hadn't given his name.

"Wells," he replied, "John Wells. God exists, Doctor, and is much different than we imagine. It was a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Iverson. I really must be going." He made that strange gulping sound again then stood, smiling that odd smile, and strode away with an odd, bow-legged gait that caused him to bob through a crowd of students before disappearing.

Bewildered, I shook my head and went back to my work. Unfortunately, I ended up returning to my sandwich as I could not finish my notes. In addition to being thoroughly disrupted, I had left my star charts in my office, though I thought I had brought them with me.  I'm still having trouble locating them and fear I may have lost them on the way to the cafe.

It simply does not pay to work in public.

Gaming Resolutions 2014

So, 2013 has gone and it's been a great gaming year. I discovered many new games (definitely more than my lazy ass can write about). It's been a fun ride. But I have come up with a few things I want to be better about. Part of keeping this blog is to have a record of at least some of my gaming experiences. It seems a shame for me not to learn a little bit from this as well.

I've come up with a short list of things I want to better myself about. I'm not going to promise that I will do these things. I can't promise that. I have non-gaming resolutions that I will be working harder to keep. But I really, REALLY want to fix these things about myself.

PAINT MORE

I have a huge backlog of unpainted miniatures. Just piles and piles, accumulated over 2 decades of gaming. Some of them aren't even stored in my house. They are ancient ghosts of gaming past, lurking in my parents' basement waiting to be rediscovered.

"Paaaaint meeeeeee!"

This is not a resolution to paint all of those miniatures. That way lies madness and regret. But I do want to increase the volume of my painting, in hopes that it might reach a point where I am starting to get ahead, or at least does something to stem the tide of incoming grey plastic and metal.

The key to finishing a project is actually doing it, even if it's just a little bit at a time. I haven't done much of anything paint-wise in over a month (hence, no December update). To fix this, I want to try and paint at least 2 hours a week. This could be a single session, or many smaller sessions as long as I reach 2 hours. That is plenty of time to finish at least one simple miniature or make good headway on a more complicated one. The hope is that I can slowly wear away at my mountain of miniatures like water against stone.

The second benefit is that hopefully the constant flow of painting will make it second nature. Maybe 2 hours will turn into 3 or 4 without noticing and I will become some sort of painting machine. With more painting comes practice, improved technique and maybe a shedding of some of the MAJOR lazy painter habits I have picked up.

MAKE ROOM

Somehow I have acquired a lot of games. Not as many as some, but my BoardGameGeek profile lists almost 100 games and expansions, and I know that there are more than that because I'm definitely too lazy to have entered them all. This is really awesome but it is becoming a problem.

You see, to me my gaming collection feels like this:

But it is probably something more akin to this:

"Where are my damn dice!"

Not only am I running out of space in my gaming room, I seem to be acquiring bigger, chunkier games all the time. Ones that I can't Tetris into a shelf or cupboard simply sit out. They are making their way into the living room, spare bedroom and even kitchen. I have had 2 games on my porch for a couple months now because bringing them inside means finding a place for them and accepting reality.

So, I need to get ruthless and get rid of some stuff. Preferably sell them off, but maybe give them away. I would hate to throw anything out. But I have games I never play (Rook, Killer Bunnies), games I actively hate (The Lord of the Rings Dice Building Game) and games that didn't end up quite as cool as I'd like and just don't see enough table time to justify keeping (Abaddon). None of these games need to be in my house.

There are also great games that are just more of the same kinds I already own. For example, I own all 3 D&D Adventure System games, but I only ever play Wrath of Ashardalon. I would hate to part with Castle Ravenloft, and the completeist in me says keep Legend of Drizz't too. I would have a CHUNK more space if I got rid of them. But just thinking about it makes me want to weep. A some point, though I may just have to get that ruthless.

BE HAPPIER WITH WHAT I HAVE

This is true in regular life too, but it needs to be doubly true with my games. I already had 4 Warhammer Armies, but yet I HAD to kickstart Kings of War and get another whole orc army. Did I really need a 5th fantasy army? Kings of War lets me use any of those other 4 armies just fine. It doesn't need specific miniatures. Now I have 100 or so orcs that have moved in, and though I love them dearly, they take up a lot of space.

"Where should we put our baaaaags!"

The same goes for backing Reaper's Kickstarter when I had piles of D&D pre-paints. I have more dungeon crawlers than any other single type of game I own, but I keep buying more. I don't even know why I keep buying Magic cards anymore because I have used the same deck since Ravnica came out. Not Return to Ravnica. Ravinca: City of Guilds. That's 8 years of new cards that have been kinda just sitting around.

I need to realize that I don't need every HeroQuest/Warhammer Quest clone that comes out on the market. I need to find ways to use the miniatures I already have (and paint them; see above) instead of snagging every sculpt that takes my fancy. At least I need to make sure that whatever I'm getting fills a new niche in my collection. That way I'm broadening my gaming horizons instead of building forts out of piles of dungeon crawlers, wargames and CCG/LCGs.

Which brings me to...

BE A MORE SOCIAL GAMER

I am a horrifying hermit. Except that hermits at least have squirrel friends to talk to.

I actually do have friends. Not very many but I have them. But they are friends I've had since high school or are family that shares a similar madness to mine. Life has gone on and many have left to have lives, careers and other selfish, bastardy things. I play D&D by Skype now and those friends I see in the flesh I only see for a couple hours MAYBE once a month. We're lucky if we even actually get to game.

Not that I don't love my friends but if I don't get out more, I may actually end up talking to squirrels. I spend way too much time alone and an alarming amount of my gaming collection is made up of solo games and co-ops. It would do me a world of good to meet new people, hear different points of view and experience new things before my social life completely stagnates.

This is the hardest of my resolutions because there are a few major hurdles. I'm extremely introverted. Half the time, I actually prefer being alone. At times, even other gamers have a hard time figuring me out and I'm terrible at getting to know others. I'm just not built for it.

On top of that, over the past couple of years the social anxiety I have always had has gotten steadily worse, probably due to isolation. I would love to just plop myself down at a board game night and just play, but the idea terrifies me. I would have apoplexy. There would be sweat and fidgeting and I would leave after an hour, even if I could muster the courage to go. I long for the days when I would play pick-up games of 40k or spent time at my local game store teaching new gamers to paint.

I don't have any idea how I'm going to accomplish this last one. It seems hopeless, but I recognize it as a MAJOR change that needs to be made in not only my gaming life, but my regular life as a whole. And hopefully recognizing that is the first step.

Have a great gaming year, fellow gamers! Hopefully it will be the best one yet!

Every Doctor Has His Day

Doctor Who celebrates its 50th anniversary tomorrow, with a special called The Day of the Doctor. Being a recent but devoted Doctor Who fan (I won't say Whovian, because I'm not quite there yet), I have taken the day off from work to settle in with my lovely wife, who I have been also slowly converting. She started with Torchwood and is more of a Capt. Jack fan, but the Doctor is beginning to grow on her.

I have been wanting to paint up one of Heresy Miniatures line of Not-Doctor-Who figures for a while, and I figured there would be no better time than now. I love David Tennant's 10th Doctor, so I went with Dr. Hugh II.

I almost went with the first version for the long coat, but I haven't seen a picture of it yet that I've liked the face in, and I don't trust my meager skills to make mine the exception. Hugh II still cuts a dashing figure. I avoided the difficult pinstripes and chose one of his blue suits. I haven't based him, since it's more of a display model and if I use him the black base will sort of slide into any genre easily.

Of course you can't have a Doctor without a TARDIS:

It's nothing special, just a TARDIS monitor mate popped off it's spring. It was cheap, pre-painted and fit the bill nicely. The Doctor is more true 25mm, so it's a little big but it fits well among my minis collection.

The greatest thing about Doctor Who is that anything can happen, so I expect he'll make some appearances in my games. He looks just as comfortable fighting eldritch horrors:

As he does staring down the servants of the God-Emperor of Mankind in the 41st Millennium:

Or maybe fighting some ancient ghosts with a medieval knight at his side:

No matter where he goes, he'll no doubt save the day. I don't have any companions for him yet, but I haven't found any models I like for it yet. I'd love to have a Martha Jones, but nothing I've found seems to fit her.

If anyone else is looking for some good Doctor Who stand in's and wants to leap in head first, Heresy is offering a big bundle deal that really is a deal. They also have some aliens that fit the bill as baddies. And, right on top of things, Heresy also has their version of John Hurt's War Doctor, the secrets of which I can't wait to learn tomorrow!

And because I can, I'm going to leave you with this image:

Boom.

Do You Hear That Rumbling Sound?

Unlike a lot of people who backed Steve Jackson's OGRE Designer's Edition, I had never payed the game before. There's no particular reason for this. It has been around for 30 years, and I like everything it has to offer: Dystopian sci-fi; lasers and tactical nukes; and giant, soul-less cybernetic tanks that crush everything in their path. Steve Jackson also makes some of my favorite games.

I also recognized this as a turning point in gaming as a whole. Kickstarter was still kind of a new thing in terms of board games at that point, and reaching almost a million dollars was mind boggling at the time, even though more recent tabletop endeavors have reached more than three times that amount. I was more than happy to drop $150 on both a good game and a massive icon in board gaming culture.

When OGRE and it's accompanying swag arrived, I was not disappointed.

As you can see, it arrived in 2 boxes. There is a practical reason for that. That giant box taking up almost half of my 6'x4' table? Yeah, that's just the game.

That's 28 pounds of board game stuffed in there, with barely any room for packing material. It's 24 by 20 inches, and almost 6 inches deep. That is big enough to play other games on top of. 

Standing on end, it is like a massive monolith to the gaming gods. I half expected apes to gather around it and start murdering each other.

Given that the counter sheets don't fit in the box unpunched, it came packed with it's insides on the outside, covered with a sheet that looks like the back of the box.

It's all very pretty and informational. It's practically a poster in it's own right and would look very nice in a frame, if one had the space on the wall.

It also describes the entire contents of the box. There is so much in this box. It's crazy. It is the work of an absolute madman. Thank you very much,
Mr. Jackson, for including us all in your madness.

Speaking of which, there are a number of sponsored sheets in the box, purchased by some equally as mad gamers. Maybe if I had the disposable income, I might have done the same. But probably not. It takes a special sort of wonderful crazy to spend hundreds to thousands of dollars on little cardboard counters. And they are absolutely wonderful additions to the game. Thank you so much for your craziness!


The sheet does a good job of telling you what's in the box, but it doesn't really prepare you for what's inside. Luckily, it has a back side that at least tries to warn you.

It has a set of lovely (and pretty necessary) assembly instructions. But in case you can't read that headline, take a closer look.

Yes, you are reading that correctly. More than a thousand counters. That is not a lie. Prepare to set aside 3-4 hours to punch everything out and assemble it. It sounds daunting, but you will love every second.

Opening the box, you are greeted with this:

These two plastic trays are the OGRE Garage and will hold all of the OGREs from the base game, with a fair bit of room to spare for extras. Filled up, it looks like this:

Taking those out, you see the bottom tray, filled with the original OGRE map and FOUR maps (in 8 pieces) for G.E.V, the companion game to OGRE. That's right. You get 2 games in the box!

Below the boards is a super-useful tray with slots for everything and more, much like the garage.

And here it is, filled not quite to the brim with cardboard goodness:

All those perfectly organized counters started out looking like this:

The box of course includes the rules, reminder sheets and several rosters for the different OGREs, plus a set of very pretty dice:

Lastly, there is a gorgeous poster of the blueprints to an OGRE Mk V. I am still looking for a place to put this and I fear it will never fit anywhere in my house properly.

Of course there is still one tiny box to explore. Yes, the swag! The box contains an extra set of the sponsored "Targets Go Boom" sheets:

Some lapel pins with the Paneuro and Combine logos:

An ugly red shirt that I can never wear because I am terribly ginger:

Honestly, I wish there had been color/design choices for the shirts. I know why there couldn't be, but I would look terribly silly in this. I think some black and white shirts with classic counter images on them would be terrific and would buy one in a heartbeat.

The box also had a large, (equally ugly) red carry bag. I was also kind of disappointed in this. The bag is very tight, making it more like a game sleeve. The shoulder strap is also about 6 inches too short to be useful. As much as I'm loving this game so far, I don't really need it hugging my body while I lug it around. 

And finally, it comes with a pocket version of OGRE, in a similar style to the way it was originally produced back in 1977. I was most excited for this because I can take OGRE everywhere and if I don't want to lug almost 30 pounds of game out to play, I don't have to.

As I understand it, this version is going to available to buy for a limited time at the original $2.95 price. So, yeah, keep an eye out and go get one when it becomes available. 

So after all that, I'm going to leave you with two images. The first is a classic game of OGRE, set up and ready to go:

You will notice I have my tablet out. If you have a mobile device capable, download the OGRE War Room app. It tracks your games, OGRE stats and even calculates combat for you. This is good, since all combats come down to reducing fractions in order to roll odds. Not terribly hard in the grand scheme, but why do more work than you have to? Plus it has music and sound effects! Pew pew!

The final image pretty much speaks for itself:

No, thank you, Mr. Jackson, for producing this fine game. It is a work of art. Your baby has finally grown up and is demanding the attention it deserves. The journey from pocket game to massive gaming icon is nothing short of amazing.

Finally, I know there are probably lots of shots of things I missed that people would like to see. Leave me a comment below and I would be more than happy to post some shots in a second article. Let me know what you want to see!

Happy gaming!

Courage In The Face Of Demons

I haven't posted in a while, and I have been feeling remiss. This is partly because I have been lazy, and partly because we acquired a new puppy. Meet Macon:

Hi.

So with a little free time today, I decided to play a quick game of Song of Blades and Heroes, documenting it for posterity. It is a classic tale of good versus evil, where stout men fend off the forces of Hell itself.

On the good side, we have the brave warriors of Gondor (or a Gondor-like equivalent). Lead by the brave Not-Boromir, these warriors have a tough road ahead of them.

This is an extremely basic warband, straight out of the rulebook. It consists of a Human Leader, 3 Human Warriors and 3 Human Elite Archers. Simple but organized and effective.

The vile forces of evil are a strike force of Fiends straight out of the depths of Hell. What is their purpose in the lands of men? Only darker powers know...

The Devils are a custom warband and consist of:

Major Fiend Commander Q3+ C4 Big, Evil, Flying, Leader, Shooter: Short
Bearded Devil Q3+ C4 Evil, Poison
2 Hell Hounds Q3+ C3 Animal, Evil, Long Move, Shooter: Short
2 Bladeling Mercenaries Q4+ C3 Evil, Savage

A paladin would have a field day with these gentlemen, but luckily there isn't one around to spoil their fun.

The scene for the battle is around the ruins of a skull-faced tower surrounded by trees in a dark forest.

Taking opposite sides of the field, Not-Boromir sends his archers to take the high ground, while his warriors move to close off the gap in the crumbling walls.

The Devils respond by moving around the tower, sheltering themselves from any stray arrows.

The hell hounds use their speed to break off and harass the archers...

While the warriors seal off the gap as the Fiends close in.

One of the hell hounds pays for its boldness with its life while the warriors surge through the gap to slay one of the bladelings and deal the bearded devil a stunning blow.

The remaining hell hound flees the archers and rushes join the fray near the tower as the major devil moves in to tilt the odds towards the forces of Hell.

With a powerful blow, the major devil smashes the warrior into a thin, red paste inside his armor...

The sight of which proves too much for Not-Boromir and he flees. 

Flapping his mighty wings, the Devil commander easily catches up and engages the terrified leader.

The archers move down to help the last warrior standing, one of the unleashing an arrow through the gap in the wall to fell the last hell hound.

The victory is short lived, however, as the major devil smashes Not-Boromir into the dirt with an audible crack of bones and armor. The humans scatter, losing heart at the horrible sight.

Rallying, the archers regroup, sending a hail of arrows at the major devil and driving him into the trees.

In a fit of rage, the fiend launches himself at the archers, hurling a fireball which barely misses one of them.

Blinded by his rage, the major devil ignores the archer to his left. This becomes a fatal mistake as the archer puts an arrow behind his ear, felling the beast in a crash of roars, blood and dust. The last bladeling flees and is cut down while the bearded devil makes for the trees, living to fight another day.

With the forces of evil vanquished, the human soldiers return home to honor their dead with ale and song. Huzzah!

So, there we have it. I must say I really enjoy playing the Gondorian warband. Human Elite Archers rock, even more so with good leadership. It is basic but it really, really works.

The Devils I have not had so much luck with. This is their second battle and they are currently 0 for 2. I will need more practice with them. I will need to work on not over-extending the Hell Hounds. Leader may not be the best choice for the Major Devil. His size makes him an easy target and also means he needs to get stuck in to work his best, which is a dangerous gamble for a leader.

And that's my battle report. Hope you enjoyed the show and happy gaming!